Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I died a long time ago.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
