great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
