Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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