scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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