your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Dear god my vagina.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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