dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
