we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
