I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
