You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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