I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
