Define "chronic" masturbator.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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