just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
