well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
