why didn't you poke me back
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
