Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
