now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize