i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
