he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
