Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
