Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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