The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
