stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
