Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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