let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
