No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
