Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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