Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
