The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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