i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
