I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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