Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
