belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
