There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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