uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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