I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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