his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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