As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize