no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
