I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You need Xanax blowdarts
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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