I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Non-Jews are for practice
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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