All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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