plz talk dirty to me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
