loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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