As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
