I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
