one word: firstdatebathroomanal
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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