he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Houston, we have a blender
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
