vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
