so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize