Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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