I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
