His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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