Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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