walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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