He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
