she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
