Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
false alarm. still invincible.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
