You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
