ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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