ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
