just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
