People with herpes should wear stickers.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize